The Mash Report

We’re very pleased that it’s going to be possible to put The Mash Report back on BBC Two at a time when people need laughter and topical insight more than ever.

Reflecting what everyone else is going through at the moment, the show will be self-isolating, with the whole cast filming themselves at home.

Nish Kumar will be virtually joined by our quarantined correspondents including Rachel Parris, Geoff Norcott, Ellie Taylor, Steve N Allen, Catherine Bohart, Desiree Burch, and Ahir Shah.

So if you don’t like jokes and analysis, you will at least get to see inside the houses of some very minor celebrities.

Philip: King Without a Crown

  • Saturday 18th April, 9:20pm

  • Channel 5

  • 1 of 1


Casualty 24/7

The front line of Barnsley hospital is its Casualty department and heading the charge is Consultant Doctor Julian Humphrey. ‘There’s a place for everybody in the department whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert or you’re in-between, you’re part of the team.’

Battling to keep the flow of patients moving is Sister Jane Hawksworth but she’s got a problem. They’re two porters down and it’s causing a backlog, but the emergencies keep arriving.

Paramedics are bringing in Dean, a 30-year-old, who’s been in a serious motorbike collision and may have spinal injuries. Junior Doctor Dean Maart prepares resus for this arrival. ‘Treating patients in extreme pain can be difficult, just trying to figure out where the pain’s coming from.’

Also rushed in by ambulance is Liam, a 20-year-old with severe abdominal pain. Junior Doctor Laurie Molloy and Sister Vicky Walker are in resus ready to treat him.

Paramedics bring in a patient Dr Humphrey recognises. For 8 years Ken worked at Barnsley hospital as a security guard. Earlier this year he had a stroke, and his wife, Valerie, is concerned that it may have happened again.

Over in the minor injuries clinic, Emergency Nurse Practitioner Jo Birkinshaw sees a familiar face. 90 year old Bernard came to Casualty yesterday with an injured finger, and he’s back again because it won’t stop bleeding. Jo explains, ‘70 used to be old, it’s not anymore - we’ve got lots of patients in their 80s and 90s and a few in their hundreds.’

And it’s time for the doctors and nurses to get a taste of their own medicine when the flu jab team head to Casualty to vaccinate the staff.

  • Wednesday 22nd April, 9pm

  • Channel 5

  • 5 of 20


Secrets of Your Supermarket Food

On this week’s Secrets of Your Supermarket Food, Sian Williams and Stefan Gates will be finding out why, what you see on the front of the packet, might not be what you get inside. We look behind the clever marketing and packaging to discover what’s really in our favourite foods. To persuade us to buy their product manufacturers often highlight a key tasty ingredient or superfood. But are we being fooled? With the help of our family we discover how little of the named ingredient can actually be in the product and sometimes none at all but as Sian discovers, there are no laws against it to protect us.

When manufacturers cut their costs they may use cheaper ingredients. That’s great if the prices come down but do we know what we’re actually eating? Take the humble cheesy pizza. It’s one of our favourite foods and you can buy them for as little as a pound. But are they all they seem? Cheese is the most expensive ingredient and Stefan investigates how some manufacturers use a far cheaper alternative – processed cheese. He discovers what’s in it, why manufacturers use it and whether a consummate pizza chef can taste the difference.

Sian finds out if paying more for a ready meal buys you more fat than you bargained for – surprisingly the most expensive cottage pie in our line up contained the most saturated fat – making up 73% of our recommended daily intake! Meanwhile Stefan discovers how ice cream companies use the cheapest secret ingredient of them all – air! He’s on the trail to find out whether when they whip air into ice cream manufacturers are just saving money or whether there’s a point to it. Stefan visits Bluebells dairy farm in Derbyshire to meet an ice cream maker. He shows Stefan how to make ice cream and whip differing amounts of air into it and what that does to the taste and weight.

Joe Lycett’s Got Your Back

Joe Lycett, the man responsible for making complaining funny, returns for a supersized new series of Joe Lycett’s Got Your Back as Britain’s customer service hero vows to continue to fight the good fight on behalf of the British public.  

Throughout the series, we’ll see Joe score victories for consumers everywhere as he battles rubbish council bin collections, settles scores against scammers, deals a blow to dodgy delivery companies and takes up the fight against corporate giants. Each week Joe will also be behind the Customer Service desk as he tackles viewers’ consumer problems, no matter how big or small.

Around The World By Train With Tony Robinson

Tony is in Russia to experience one of the world’s longest and most famous rail routes: The Trans-Siberian Railway. He has more than 10,000km between there and his final destination, Helsinki. His goal is to get his head around this enormous country and learn about it as he stops along the route. From frozen rivers to warm people, winter festivals and hot soup, he’ll discover the differences between Russia today and its communist past.

In Vladivostok, he bumps into Barry from Bolton, a café owner originally from the UK, before settling into a bumpy first night aboard the legendary sleeper train.

He arrives in the city of Khabarovsk, and is met by the extraordinary sight of the River Amur, one of the longest rivers in the world, frozen solid. He’s invited to warm up over dinner with a group of locals who offer him a taste of their home brewed Vodka. The next morning, a little worse for wear, Tony re-joins the rails and learns about how Russia has changed since the days of communism.

Having left Siberia behind him, Tony prepares to cross the border from Asia into Europe, stopping off first in Yekaterinburg in the foothills of the Ural Mountains. Here Tony discovers more about Russia’s complicated history at the Church On The Blood, a monument to the spot where, in 1918, the family of the Tsar Nicholas II was brutally executed by the State.

Tony’s Russian rail odyssey finally brings him into Moscow and its famously ornate and elaborate Metro station. From there it’s a quick trip through Red Square to discover how Russia’s other half live – in the nearby luxury malls and hotels.

The last leg of Tony’s journey takes him west into Finland’s capital, Helsinki, where he arrives on independence day and soon finds himself on the main street face-to-face with Finland’s president.

Race Across The World

With two teams at the checkpoint –Ilha Grande in Brazil – the two remaining teams are engaged in a frantic race to avoid finishing the leg in last place. Dom and Lizzie are on foot, running through the jungle whilst Jo and Sam are paddling furiously in a canoe across the bay. It’s a nail-biting ending and the siblings just manage to edge out their rivals and sign into the book.

After 17,000 kilometres there are just 24 hours separating the teams, but with two legs left and almost  8000 km to the finish line in Ushuaia, depleted budgets come into sharp focus.

Leaders Emon and Jamiul are the first to leave and discover that the next checkpoint is, Mendoza, in Western Argentina.  Both agree that they need to escape expensive Brazil as soon as possible but have differing opinions on the best route to take. Emon wants to prioritise speed by adopting the most direct route, whilst Jamiul wants to target the lucrative jobs on offer by travelling through Uruguay. Jamiul manages to convince his uncle of his plan and all is going well when they score a well-paid job cleaning Superyachts in the well-heeled port of Punta del Este. However, it all comes crashing down when they can’t find overnight transport out of the capital Montevideo and are forced to spend all they’ve earned on accommodation for the night as well as expensive bus and boat tickets to Buenos Aires, leaving their budget perilously low and them both questioning the choices they have made. 

Jen and Rob are the most financially stable with a quarter of their budget remaining.  Despite this the pair have different priorities. Jen is keen to spend to move quickly, whilst Rob favours a more cautious approach to ensure they reach the finish line on budget. This comes to a head when the pair miss an opportunity for a quick escape from the island due to Rob’s indecision. There’s further adversity when they’re unable to change any money in Curitiba and they miss two buses and face a lengthy delay. Jen and Rob showcase their new-found resilience though and when they reach Porto Alegre find work cleaning in a hostel. Their relationship hits new heights when the pair share a tender moment when they learn to tango in a Buenos Aires park

With less money than any other team, mother and son Jo and Sam are in dire straits. They are determined to complete the leg and target work with bed and board in order to save cash, but this means a more circuitous route to the checkpoint. They land a plum job at a hostel in Rio de Janeiro where Sam satisfies his hunger pangs by running a BBQ, whilst Jo runs the bar. However, the pair have a disagreement over their spending priorities leaving Sam at a low ebb. A smart plan though secures a free ticket in exchange for work on the bus, enabling Jo to fulfil a lifetime ambition at a Gaucho ranch. However, they also have a very difficult decision to make.

Dom and Lizzie are on a mission to move up in the race standings by racing smart and economically and asking for help. It doesn’t come naturally but after obtaining good route advice, the siblings‘ persistence pays dividends when they save money hitching a ride to Posadas and land an unexpected invite. Will their good fortune hold as they aim to claw their way back into the race ?

  • Sunday 19th April, 8pm

  • BBC Two

  • 7 of 8


Walking Britain’s Lost Railways

Britain’s rail network was once the envy of the world. Twenty thousand miles of track - the backbone of an industrial superpower. But in the course of a century, almost half has disappeared. Four thousand stations too… deemed surplus to requirements.

But from crumbling viaducts and ticket offices, to former industries, Britain’s Lost Railways can still be discovered… and explored.

So Rob Bell is back, following six more abandoned rail routes.

Rob’s final lost railway is rather different… because it might just come back. The Waverley Route, as it was known, ran south from Edinburgh for a hundred miles, through the Scottish Borders to Carlisle, connecting with what we now call the West Coast Main Line. When it closed in 1969, there was uproar.

As Rob discovers, large Borders’ towns like Hawick – once home to one of the world’s great cashmere industries - became the remotest in the country.

But after years of campaigning, the first stage of Rob’s journey is aboard the new Borders Railway – at 30miles, the longest railway to open in over a century. It follows the old Waverley Route, making use of the stunning 170yr old, 23-arch Newbattle Viaduct.

The rest of Rob’s exploration feels more familiar, as the lost railway crosses the Tweed Valley – once home to Sir Walter Scott, whose Waverley novels gave the railway its name.

Further south, Rob pays a visit to one of Hawick’s surviving cashmere factories, discovers a First World War prisoner of war camp served by the railway, and rides a railbus with locals who have re-built their own (very) short stretch of the Waverley Route.

There is universal enthusiasm for the old railway. And it may not be in vain. The government may be about to back a study assessing if the Waverly Route should fully re-open. As Rob reaches the grand station at Carlisle, he sees no reason why it shouldn’t.

Secrets of the Royal Tours

These two documentaries will delve into the archives to uncover the most surprising secrets, incredible moments and significant historic occasions of our globetrotting Royals. We’ll reveal what really happened in front of the cameras and behind the scenes when the Royals went on tour. Through a combination of archive footage and interviews with Royal insiders we’ll look at the most momentous, emotional, and controversial events when Royals travel the world. 

  • Thursday 23rd April, 9pm

  • Channel 5

  • 2 of 2


The Steph Show

Steph McGovern presents the brand-new daily programme, The Steph Show, broadcast live from Steph's living room in Yorkshire, as she celebrates the everyday heroes who are keeping the nation moving in these uncertain times. The Steph Show includes the daily lunchtime Channel 4 News bulletin and features the latest information, advice and ideas to help us navigate our way through these unique times we are living in. Plus, there's a mix of entertainment, lifestyle and a variety of guests beamed live into Steph's living room.

  • Monday 20th April, 12pm
    Tuesday 21st April, 12pm
    Wednesday 22nd April, 12pm
    Thursday 23rd April, 12pm
    Friday 24th April, 12pm

  • Channel 4


New Scotland Yard Files

When a homeless man was searching for food in bins outside flats in Camden, north London, he thought that he saw discarded meat. What he actually discovered were dismembered body parts wrapped in black plastic bags.

The newspaper nicknamed the perpetrator as The Camden Ripper. When detectives discovered the identity of the man, his story was that of descent into drugs, alcohol, and sexual violence.

They also found his flat, where the murders took place, but the challenge was to find him before the could carry out another brutal killing.

  • Thursday 23rd April, 10pm

  • CBS Reality

  • 7 of 10


Trucking Hell

Tez and the team get in a jam when they recover a parcel lorry that has taken the term ‘stuck in the post’ to another level. After striking and getting stuck under a bridge on the busy A5, in the early hours of the morning, they find it resting precariously on the top of a three inch wide sign under live power cables and have the risky job of getting it shifted before rush hour begins.

Lost in the dark and up against the clock, Stig struggles to locate a driver who has driven his lorry into a ditch. Unstable and resting at a dangerous angle the driver is too scared to get out of his cab as he fears the truck will fall on him.

And a simple lift and shift turns into an assault course for Lantern Heavy Recovery Operator Merrie, whose mettle and driving manoeuvres are tested when she has to tow a burned out dustcart around the tight residential streets of South London.

  • Thursday 23rd April, 9pm

  • Paramount

  • 10 of 20


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